SPESHUL DUHLIVARY

I thought it’d be a real great idea to buy 1000 board feet of ash from a guy in Manitoba. 
He’s all ‘I can drop it off for you if you want’ and I’m all ‘yeah, that’s a great idea. 
I definitely need 1000 board feet of ash.’ 
To give you an idea, your typical kitchen table would use about 30 board feet.
Huge mistake. This is what showed up. 
That’s a snowmobile hauler. Two snowmobiles side by side fit on that thing.
The back boards are all ten feet long. 
 This is what it all looked like stacked up in my garage. It took me two hours to get it off the trailer.
After stacking it all, I had a buddy come over to help me rip them down. 
A jig was needed to get one edge straight.
The buddy in question, one @travisforreal.
WHAT A CLEVER JIG, RIGHT?
Artsy shot of boards with one edge ripped straight. These headphones are rad.
After the one edge was ripped using the jig and a circular saw, the other side was cut on the table saw, giving me roughly straight, usable boards. The end result is around 950 board feet of usable lumber. And ash is a fine, mighty wood. It ate three saw blades to get to this point, and they still need to be jointed, planed, and sanded.  
Apparently, the guy who sold it all to me has another 7000 board feet of it, so I’ll need to use all this up. I make bad choices.
This is about half of the casualties.
Will be used for firewood for the next four thousand years.